Mending the Deck

24th July, 2010 - Posted by L. John Mason -

Over the past week I was working with my neighbor to mend his back deck. He is very thoughtful regarding how to get the results that he wants, as most of are when we are working on something that we care about. For him, it was more than just replacing a few boards. We all have major events in our lives and he has been very absorbed in coping with his wife’s health. The things that are the most stressful for us are the things that we care about but have little or no control. So he cares but can not do very much but hold her hand. We have all been there. After a while, for him a long while, you need to take a break from fretting. He saw that it was getting to be time to refinish his back deck. To do the job “right,” he discoved that he had to replace some of the old and weathered boards. His mind had to problem solve many challenges. We worked on “de-constructing” by pulling out the more worn boards. After that there were some big holes in the deck. Naturally, it was time to stop and take pictures to send to the kids and to begin to monitor progress on this project. He bought new wood. He cut the boards to fit the holes. He began to fasten the new boards down by nailing them. Hey, this is not at all surprising or terribly complicated carpentry, but he was getting distracted in a positive way by the involvement in this project. Sometimes we need to fill the space in our lives with positive projects. Sometimes we need to fill our minds with challenges to solve and the satisfaction of finding the answers. There is a sense of what Zen meditation can be like when you loose yourself in a positive consuming project.

After the last board was nailed into place, he called me with a positive sense of satisfaction in his voice. He was going to take more photos to send to the “kids.” He was feeling good about the commitment he had made and the results that he able to create. His heart was filled with the relief of taking a much needed break from his concerns. Maybe it was his mind or maybe it was his spirit but he felt better. He told me that taking a small amount of control over this one thing in his life had given a sense of being positive in life. Being totally present, in the moment, as he had to be as he worked on this project helped him connect with a positive emotional spirit and he shared his celebration of renewal with me.

Find the positive activities or projects that make you feel whole. Celebrate being present and productive in your own way. Even the simple projects are satisfying in ways that can refresh you.

If you require support or coaching ask the healthy people in your life for their input and support. If you require professional support consider the therapists, clergy, or life coaches that you know to assist you. If you want, you can consider discussing your coaching with professional coaches through the Stress Education Center and contact us at www.dstress.com. Please take good care of yourself and allow yourself to bask in the light of positive accomplishments.