Does Stomach Pain Mean She is Dying?

1st September, 2010 - Posted by L. John Mason -

The “Unknown” can create fear and anxiety. My wife calls from an out of town trip with her sister to tell me that she has stomach pain and can not eat. I ask if it might be related to something that she ate and she replies “no.” She asks me what I think that she should do, and I say “call your doctor and make an appointment to get in to see him, tomorrow.” This is of concern for me because last week her oncologist says that the chemotherapy that she is taking appears to be less effective and her (bad) numbers are going up. She is set for a new chemo this week, but she decided to go out of town for 3 days with her sister. When is a “stomach-ache” more than a stomach-ache?

I have been in similar situations over the past 7+ years with my wife’s health and her Ovarian cancer challenge. My adrenaline flows and my mind races to “negative places” when I am confronted by the yet “unexplained discomforts” that have developed. Sometimes these are nothing significant AND sometimes the events turn scary…. I do not want to think negative, but past events have lead me, at times, to feel helpless and insecure. I do not like feeling this way… Who does?

My wife does not complain or easily share the difficult news. Not that she keeps secrets, though she does not always “share” right when she hears the news… So when she does speak up, it is often serious and requires attention. She has spoken up and I have to consider how to respond and how best to support her.

Waiting for something to happen is no fun. Waiting for information about what is going on has never been easy for me because I am a bit of an “action guy” or, by other definition, a bit hyperactive. Sitting still is not a simple graceful activity for me. Running around like the “chicken with its head cut off” is definitely more my style. So here I sit with my thoughts and feelings, uncomfortably waiting and wondering… My fear is that for me, sometimes a stomach ache means she is heading for difficult places…

As in the past, please pray for her or hold her in your good thoughts. Let’s think in terms of a troubling bout of constipation that will resolve easily…  I appreciate your consideration.

Now I will add (18 days later)… It was more serious than a stomach ache and required emergency surgery which she is recovering from… Physically, it has taken a toll… Emotionally, it has been far worse. We have challenges that will be difficult to overcome and an opportunity to look deeply into all the options… Our lives have been turned upside down, again. Self-care will be necessary to advance gracefully through the coming transitions.