Role Modelling Anger: What Parents Can Expect

12th February, 2011 - Posted by L. John Mason -

There are many things that make people angry or frustrated. There are many angry people in the world. There are many people in the world driven by their anger to live their lives demonstrating their anger and frustration. When parents role model anger, they train their children to be angry teenagers who grow up to be angry adults. Parents wonder why their teenagers are annoying or “out of control” and yet the answer is very simple in many of these cases. There are many angry people, who had angry parents, and have ended up prison for acting out their anger. These people have never learned to control their anger and sometimes, innocent people accidently cross paths with these angry individuals, with poor results. There are also angry people who do not get caught or who control their anger well enough to not make bad mistakes that get them sent to jail. I know of a man who got so angry when a “friend” of his, who had a substance abuse problem, and then stole from this guy. He got angry and murdered this “friend.” He spent 10 years in prison for murder and when he came out of prison he learned to control his own substance abuse problem, however, he was still an angry person. He was also a “control freak” tryng to control the people around him. His “girlfriend” who has two children, and very little common sense, has allowed this angry man to help parent her young teenage children. The results are not looking good for the future of these children. Poor relationship choices and no common sense are not good techniques for this mom to employ if she wishes her children to turn out to be good citizens. “No contact” court orders and CPS (Child Protective Services) are not the proper influences to have in our childrens lives. Stupidity and selfishness are no excuse even for single moms.

In other families, the role modelling of anger does little to teach how to form good relationships or to make good political decisions. Often people who are driven by anger are people who are very “black and white” in their belief systems. These people do not trust in people who do not share their same political or religious values and beliefs. Religious extremists are often dangerous and driven by their anger. This is not good for the world. The world is getting too small to not practice tolerance because extremism causes war and man-made disasters. Teaching anger and extremism does not bode well for the peace of the world. We have to learn how to get along and act together in responsible ways.

I am sure that angry, self-centered, control freaks will argue with me because I suggest that not every belief is black or white, or right or wrong… “My way or the highway” will not work for this shrinking world. Anger is not all bad, but it should not be the guiding force in our lives and should not be the model for our children.