Control Envy & Control Stress |

Control Envy & Control Stress

27th August, 2011 - Posted by L. John Mason -

Envy

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

“Envy (also called invidiousness) is best defined as an emotion that “occurs when a person lacks another’s perceived superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.

Envy can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person’s self-image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.”

Have you ever known a person living with the “glass half empty” perspective because they put so much time and energy into to being envious of what another person has. It is difficult to be happy, or even satisfied, with your life if you can not accept your situation, both your strengths and your flaws/imperfections. It can be difficult living your life when you are constantly looking over the fence into your neighbor’s yard and wanting what they have acquired. It can take a lot of energy to be envious and the feeling can be negative to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

If you do not have perfect hair or the perfect house or the perfect job, should you invest time and energy in being envious of what someone else might have? I am not saying that being attracted to a quality, achievement or possession that you do not presently have is bad, but feeling emotionally unsatisfied with your life because you do not have this thing is wasteful and can be destructive. I have heard some people say, “be happy for what you have…” To me this means count your blessings and look for the glass being half full. If you must, you can re-set your goals to include a certain desired: quality, achievement or possession.

There are people who are unhappy or unsatisfied with their lives when they, in fact, could be the envy of other, less-fortunate people. Their sadness seems to consume them. They may even be borderline bitter about their plight. To me, this is a waste of time. It is an unnecessary stress in their lives. It may even contribute to unnecessary physical or emotional complaints/symptoms. Why is low self-esteem or a lower self-image linked to wanting what you may lack? Lower self-esteem seems to be associated with poor self-acceptance and may also reflect the “glass half empty” view of the world. Life (and the world) are difficult enough without having to beat ourselves up because someone else has a quality, achievement, or possession that might be currently lacking from one’s life.

Regular self-care can help to lead to better levels of self-acceptance and an appreciation of what is good in one’s life. Self-acceptance can allow for self-love (and self-esteem) even if you are still moving forward on the path toward a goal of self-improvement. By the way, we can ALL move forward toward self-improvement. We all must be reminded of what is good in our lives and celebrate the positive achievements that we worked to accomplish.

We can not live with regrets, even if we have the feeling that we will not be able to check off all the items in our “bucket list” before we transition into our next lives. Do your best! Celebrate your achievements! Love the good people who surround you. Live more “in the present moment!” And, if you are trying your hardest, do not live with envy or regret!

If you can not shake your negative feelings, consider counseling from a good professional therapist who can offer your a positive perspective on what you can hope to emotionally achieve and can help minimize unnecessary and possibly hurtful “expectations.”

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