Musings on Life

L. John Mason — Thu, 17 May 2012 23:25:20 +0000

From an Email message I received:

Have you ever been disappointed by a friend, hoping that they would be available to support you and find that they are NOT available? Have you ever discovered that you are unable to perform an important activity because you are too old or some part of the aging process has gotten in the way? Have you been attracted to someone or something and yet know that you can be making a big mistake if your impulses take over to pursue the person or thing? Have you ever found a fun person or event that attracts you but winds up burning you by causing difficult feelings of loneliness, sadness, or an unsatisfiable craving for connection? These are common questions and happen to almost everyone who has lived past 7 years of age. This commonality does not make it easier to understand or to deal with… The expectations create the suffering and yet to live without the risk of expectations regarding relationships is to live in a vacuum and an unfulfilled existence.

I am old (as I have been reminded recently) and have lived long enough to know that no matter how old you get, life has pain and disappointments. Most people need and want connections, not just to avoid loneliness but to have shared moments with a felt compassion and human support. A touch, a hug, a kiss, an embrace help to sustain a life and for most people are required to varying degrees. Research on unthriving infants in Eastern European orphanages prove that the love from touch and connection is a necessary requirement for the growth, health, and well being of infants and probably most humans. When left untouched, these infants did not develop emotionally, mentally, or physically and often got sick and died even if they were fed a basic diet. Touching and being touched can be considered a necessary requirement for health in most humans. So living alone can sometimes work against this basic principle. There is more to “touch” than simple physical sensation, it can be used to communicate love and healing energy.

Connecting with other humans requires a mutual openness to connection and timing that often does not match up very well. The risks of emotionally extending yourself to potential rejection is another difficult fear to overcome for new relationship seekers. Sometimes it feels easier, AND safer, to not take the risk of reaching out but this can lead to an unfulfilled life… Knowing that the timing is good for the person you wish to connect with is an adventure into psychic understanding, you know the “gut feeling” that you find yourself following in the decision making process. It is good to know how to communicate with your “gut” at times like these. It is good to be “psychic” at times like these. It is good to be “charming” at times like these… AND, it is good to know how to handle rejection at times like these.

Goals can not be reached without following the path that may expose you to risks. I have also learned that the pain from these lessons in life really do have long term value if you actually are open to learning the lesson. Also, no one succeeds all the time at everything they attempt. If they do succeed at every new thing they try, then they are not trying very hard to move forward.

The Secret to Finding Balance in Life

L. John Mason — Fri, 11 May 2012 18:58:15 +0000

There are major areas in your life that when left unattended can lead to a lack of balance and prevent you from full life satisfaction. You can be a victim to a lack of awareness regarding these areas and suffer from physical or emotional symptoms including anxiety, depression, headaches, pain, abdominal complaints, and reduce productivity (due to unconscious distractions.)

Find the 8 essential areas of your life and learn to honor the ones that you do not make time for in your life. This will help to re-prioritize your life and give you greater balance as you pursue your long term goals and aspirations. The 8 essential life areas include: career, finance, family, friends/relationships, education/life long learning, health, creativity/aesthetic, and honoring the spirit. If you do not have a plan for honoring each of these 8 areas then you may not have balance and may have to fight to sustain emotional and physical health and well-being.

The first two areas are obvious and many people spend time and energy working to fulfill these areas. Career relates to your work and the satisfaction that you may achieve through being productive. Many people need to address their work/career if they find themselves under-satisfied by the job that they are employed to do. Training and mentoring can lead to more appropriate career paths. Finance includes current and future plans for financial stability and security. Long term planning is required and impulse control is necessary to help maintain your long-term planning until you achieve your financial goals. There is a great deal of support regarding these two areas and so society tends to focus on these areas but these do always provide life balance or satisfaction by themselves.

“Family” is an area that relates to the closest relationships that we have. The importance of having close ties to your family can vary a lot. Some people require large amounts of contact with parents, siblings, and children. If this were true for you, you have to make time to maintain these relationships. Some people are not as connected or attached to these close family relationships and so they may require less time and attention to maintain their balance. Career and other life distractions can move this area to a seemingly lower priority but this can be a huge mistake and in some cultures, family, is the highest priority. This support is very important and should not be shuffled to lower priorities. If you neglect this area, you may suffer emotionally and physically. Remember that “quality” of time with family is more important than quantity. Do not miss your opportunities for good, close connections even if your schedule is an issue.

“Friends/Relationships” like family are important, but individual needs vary. Time with chosen, “healthy” friends is important. This support both giving and receiving is critical for most humans. These are relationships that can be as intimate as husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, or intense coupling that seems born into our genetic code. When your life is tested by change or tragedy, close, healthy friends and relationships can be critical. Time in your life may need to be allocated to find, build, and maintain these relationships. We all have different levels of needs. Remember that the quality of these contacts is more important than quantity, though people with need for drama in their lives may want to argue about the need to quantity of time for relationships.

“Life-long learning” is the pursuit of knowledge or wisdom that allows you to move forward in your life. Sometimes it is specific to career development but it can also relate to information that can allow for better decision making or following a passion in your life. To not expand your knowledge can lead to a weakening of memory. Studies have proven that an active mind is less likely to suffer of the early onset challenges like dementia. Life is more interesting when you challenge yourself to expand consciousness and information.

“Health” is a “no-brainer” when it comes to balance and life satisfaction. Investing time and energy in keeping fit and eating “right” is an individual but necessary requirement for the most productive life. Bad habits can, and should, be changed, either reduced or eliminated. Substance abuse is a very temporary distraction from pain or anxiety (fear-anger) and does not offer long-term solutions but can lead to long-term impairments. Challenges can “run” in families but this is no excuse for caving in as a victim to poor health. Time spent on health and wellness actually saves you time and money, in the long run. Companies who tract wellness programs often find a cost benefit of $5, or more, for every $1 spent on wellness. This is true for the quality of your life and even your levels of productivity. DO NOT USE “no time” as an excuse. You will save time by practicing stress management, getting regular exercise, and eating better.

“Creativity and Aesthetic” pursuits are not simply producing arts and crafts. Not everyone has talent for this type of creative endeavor. Everyone does have an appreciation for some form of art or natural beauty and we must invest resources in finding the activities that touch your aesthetic needs. Maybe a hike or trip to a museum will meet your requirements and give you balance. Planning a once a month visit to experience a beautiful natural environment or man-made work of art, or going to a performance, or listening to uplifting music can all qualify for creating satisfaction in this area. Being distracted by TV, video games, or movies may not be enough… Exploring your requirements for quality aesthetic exposure is important and is often ignored, with poor long-term results in life satisfaction.

Finally, “Honoring the Spirit” is an area that requires attention. There may be an over-lap with attending to aesthetic or creative pursuits because pursuing the spiritual requirements may have more to do with feeling good in your heart than chasing a philosophy. So religion or religious pursuits do not always involve the true celebration of spirit. Religion can be cerebral or political in ways that may feed the mind but not always the soul/spirit. Do not take this area lightly. When you do not know how to nourish your true spirit you run the risk of having fears and anxieties about important transitions like death/dying, parenting, or aging that when left unresolved can lead to serious emotional imbalance. Everyone has different requirements for honoring or celebrating spirit. Do not fall into the trap of taking on someone else’s belief. FIND YOUR OWN PATH.

If you are unclear how to pursue engaging in any of these areas in your own life, consider finding a mentor or life coach who you can trust to assist you at examining the specific needs you may have in your unique situation and life. If you need assistance, consider the Stress Education Center for this life coaching (www.dstress.com.) But remember, honor your own needs and find a way to incorporate these areas into your life. Life satisfaction may be the biggest and best reward. Take good care of yourself.

Emotional Balance at Work

L. John Mason — Fri, 04 May 2012 19:56:08 +0000

In many companies, the work culture includes many difficult requirements. Long hours, intense competition, conflicts, changing priorities and trying changes which create the need to adapt. If you do not have “Emotional Balance” you run the risk of burning out or getting into other physical or emotional difficulties. “Being Centered” or balanced are concepts that are easier said than done. Most of us do not even know what emotional balance is, what it feels like, or realize that it is an ever changing situation that we have to continuously pay attention to and change with. The pulls from “internal” company needs and “external” (outside work) expectations can feel insurmountable. Each of us are different and the way we respond to the various sources of pressures will also be unique. To beat being a victim to these pressures we must:

1. Understand specifically how you respond in your own individual and unique habitual way. By knowing this you can find the systems that hold this habitual response and learn to minimize, if not eliminate, the negative manisfestations of the pressure.

2. Learn what Balance feels like so you can determine if you are off-balance. It is difficult to learn to relax into a “balance state” but it is worth it for most people because it feels good and saves so much time and energy.

3. Find the 8 essential areas of your life and learn to honor the ones that you do not make time for in your life. This will help to re-prioritize your life and give you greater balance as you pursue your long term goals and aspirations. The 8 essential life areas include: career, finance, family, friends/relationships, education/life long learning, health, creativity/aesthetic, and honoring the spirit. If you do not have a plan for honoring each of these 8 areas then you may not have balance and may have to fight to sustain emotional and physical health and well-being.

4. Finally, you must take (or make) time for yourself. Often, by taking time to regain balance you find that you SAVE TIME and ENERGY. Many people forget this principle until a major negative manifestation takes place. The body will get your attention in rude ways if you do not honor your commitment to self-care and maintaining balance. No time, is the excuse most often heard and people hide behind this idea.

Finding your balance and re-prioritizing your life goals is not an easy task and often can not be done effectively without external counsel, coaching, or mentoring. It is worth your investment of time, energy, and resources if you want to be most productive and have the best quality of life. If for no other reason, you may want to be a positive role model for the important people around you.

There are many principles taken from Sports Psychology that can help executive leaders to find their balance and to get the pressures and competitive forces to have minimal impact on their performance. These same principles help “world class” athletes move ahead of their competition. Just attend to the upcoming Olympics competition to find that more than 60% of the athletes training involves the “mental side” which helps to create balance for the winners. The mental side of training trims away the unnecessary distracts that rob the athlete of energy or the flexibility needed to win.

Emotional Balance reduces distractions that can lead to team turn-over, increased replacement costs, health cost containment, better communication and leadership, increased productivity and enhanced performance, and increased bottom-line in sales, services, and productivity.

If you find that you would benefit from coaching support, considering contacting the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com

Basking in the Afternoon Sunlight

L. John Mason — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 17:02:40 +0000

I live in the Northwest on an Island North of Seattle, WA. The region is famous for gray cool days that often have some sort of precipitation. In my 7 seven year history, I have discovered that the sunny, warm times (and warm is relative) are August and September, also considered Summer. In Seattle and Portland, from October to July when the sunshine breaks through the clouds, people will stop what they are doing and rush outdoors for what is known locally as a “sun break.” You should also know that people who live, and the ones who thrive, in the Northwest are a hardy group who function decently in the cool dampness. People will not be stopped by rain when working or exercising because this “just comes with the territory.” I tell you this because there is a special appreciation that can be found in the Northwest for being touched by the warmth of the sun, BUT, this can hold true for many people outside the Northwest as well.

So I had an experience Sunday, last, that makes me pause and think of appreciation for some of things that can easily be overlooked or taken for granted. I went further North to visit a new friend in the city of Bellingham. For me, it was a chance to learn some of the secrets of this pleasent town which has plenty of charm, history, and a population of people who are influenced by the colleges found in town. We walked and talked as we strolled down the special trails that line the waterfront. We drifted into shops and chatted with shop owners and fellow pedestrians. We found many delightful things which made our quest enjoyable.

Later in the afternoon, I experienced that wonderful moment that makes a day memorable. I found myself sharing this large chair on the sunporch of my host. The warmth of the sunlight was streaming through the large windows and I felt myself peacefully melting into this chair. My eyes closed and I soaked up the warming, relaxing rays of sunshine. To make this better, I was sharing this with my wonderful new friend who allowed me to feel safe and most comfortable. Perhaps you have experienced moments like this and you can remember these as pleasent, healing experiences.

Having shared this image, I now have a significant memory to use when I pull up my visiualizations of an ideal time of warmth and peace. So, if you find yourself needing a moment of relaxation consider sitting back comfortably in a safe, hopefully peaceful environment, and start by taking several deep slow breaths. Perhaps you feel cool air as you inhale and warm breath as you slowly exhale. You might even imagine that as the warm breath flows from you it seems to carry away unnecessary thoughts or energy. Continue breathing slowly and naturally allowing every slow breath to let you sink deeper into a state of peaceful relaxation. Perhaps, you can feel the relaxation beginning in your arms and legs. You may even be able to feel yourself slowly sinking back into whatever you are sitting or lying upon. Imagine that you can feel the warmth from the sun gently and safely shining down on you. Perhaps you can imagine that you can soak up this warmth and light, and this allows you to drift deeper into a peaceful dreamlike state of calmness. As you breathe slowly and gently, perhaps you can imagine that you can breathe in the sunlight and warmth, and allow this energy to bathe every cell in your body with healing energy. Every cell can soak up the perfect amount of this healing energy and unconditional love to allow the cells to heal and recharge. You can even begin to feel the feelings of joy and health and happiness welling up inside you. Perhaps you can celebrate this perfect moment of health and happiness and see yourself in perfect health, being active.

Enjoy those moments of your life when you can bask in the radiance of warmth and unconditional love. Hold these memories and feelings within your heart so you can pull these forward to heal and recharge yourself, when needed. AND, if you find yourself sharing a large chair, on the perfect sunporch, with a person who allows you be feel safe and comfortable, honor this moment as a special treasure.

As with other articles from this blog, if you require any additional support consider the information and services provided through the Stress Education Center and visit the website at www.dstress.com

Please take good care of yourself and bask in warmth and light, as often as you can.

Changes You Can Make To Reduce The Stress In Your Life

L. John Mason — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 21:36:04 +0000

Article submitted by Kara Heissman contact info below

Over the years, a lot of research has been conducted into stress. These studies have made it possible for the general public to have a great deal of information about its nature and its effects. In the medical world, stress is defined simply as “a feeling of tension that is both emotional and physical in nature that can be brought about by an individual’s environment, social roles, physiological circumstances and thoughts.” So if you really look at the nature of stress, we can say that it is merely the body’s normal response to things that are beyond the customary and is not necessarily detrimental. Stress can only be labeled as negative when it overwhelms the body’s healthy and normal responses and inhibit a person from functioning properly.

Nowadays, we are living in fast-paced society that compels all of us to live hurried and hectic lives. Everyday, we are bombarded with all sorts of situations that bring about stress. Although a little amount of stress here and there is not really detrimental, being chronically exposed to high levels of stress has some dire consequences. And since it is impossible to totally avoid or eliminate stress, our only option is to reduce it as much as possible. Below are some things you can do to keep your stress levels to a minimum.

1. Take care of yourself. As we are compelled to maintain a busier style of life compared to people a few years ago, our lives are taken over by a feeling of constant stress and chaos that we barely have time to look after our health and happiness. But this should not be the case. Studies have proven that when a person’s needs are taken cared of, he is bound to be stronger and more resilient to stress. So live a balanced life and find time to exercise, be with the people you love and do things that you love to do. Taking care of yourself doesn’t require a total lifestyle overhaul. Take things one step at a time, and as you make more positive lifestyle choices, you’ll soon notice a reduction in your stress levels.

2. Make plans. Although spontaneity has its perks, being organized is the way to go if you want less stress in your life. Get a planner and lay out your schedule and to do list ahead of time. There is just a certain kind of peace in knowing the things that you need to do and when you need to do them. By having a life with a plan give, you give yourself enough time to do things well and thoroughly and so you don’t live your life in a rush and feel pressured all the time.

3. Live within your means. Financial stress is one of the most common forms of stress these days and this is often brought about by people’s sheer inclination to spend more that what they actually earn. Each day more and more people are filing for bankruptcy and even more are accumulating large amounts of debt. Simplifying your life and living within your means is the key to avoiding this type of stress. Take what is truly important to you, and construct your life in a way that you could still be happy without spending too much and suffering huge consequences.

4. Declutter. Numerous studies have proven that a person’s environment has a direct effect in his disposition, mentality, efficiency and stress levels. This means that being surrounded by clutter in the home or in the workplace has great consequences. Clutter can bring a general feeling of uneasiness, and can literally drain your energy. You may say that you do not have enough time to clear your disorderly space as you are living with a tight schedule but setting aside as little as 15 or 30 minutes of your day for decluttering can do wonders.

5. Cut yourself some slack. If you have developed an attitude of criticizing yourself, then you should work on this detrimental habit. Instead, develop the habit of talking to yourself positively. Also, you should learn to accept failures and the fact that things will not always go as we plan or want them to.

Stress is a normal part of life. As a matter of fact, in small quantities, stress is good and can motivate you and help you become more productive. However, too much stress can be harmful as it lead to the development of serious physical, mental and emotional problems. Keeping stress within healthy levels is not as hard as you think and making even little changes in your life can do wonders.

Resource Area: I’m Kara Heissman and I am concerned with making life better and while I’m not a professional I like to share things that can help improve life. Visit my site www.contentedlife.org, Contented Life for more articles on the same topic.

Decision Making vs Stress

L. John Mason — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 21:02:41 +0000

Have you ever found that it is more difficult to make decisions or to problem solve when you are under a lot of stress? Or, have you ever made a poor, perhaps impulsive, decision only to realize that you were distracted by the major stress from transitions that were swirling around you at that time?

Some people are GREAT when under going the chaos of change and most of us are not as good about being able to make good decisions when we experiencing stress. The physiology of the brain changes if we preceive that the situation around us that is causing us stress may be dangerous, even life threatening. This is known as the “Flight/Fight Response.” Even if we arre not in a life or death situation, our bodies often respond as if we were because the primitive survival mechanism is triggered by stress. Many of us habitually hold on to our stress in one system or another. For many of us, the “higher” centers of the brain, called the cerebral cortex, which is where we process higher thoughts and more complex feelings often shuts down, at least slightly, by this stress response. The more “primitive parts of our brains, the mid and lower brain, can take over as asurvival mechanism. The older parts of the brain do not problem solve, they only react. The four basic emotions that dominate this primitive brain are the emotions: Fear, Anger, Sadness, and Joy. When stressed we will often respond with one of these four basic emotions. Anger, Fear, and Sadness are NOT the best tools to use when engaged in important decision making, however they often play a large role…

To not be a victim to these primitive survival mechanisms which can lead to poor decisions there are some important tools to use to prevent major mistakes. First, be aware of how you function when under stress. Does stress affect your ability to communicate and problem solve? Awareness is half the battle, so do not become a victim to habitual “knee jerk” reaction.

Second, take more time (which is not always possible) to make your decision. Get all the facts and ask people who are healthy and trustworthy for their opinions. Some of this additional perspective may offer you a different way to approach your decision and these options can lead to positive choices that can prove useful.

Third, practice stress management and self-care to help minimize the stress and the anxiety that may be creating the distracting jumble in your thinking. “There is no place for a tense mind in a relaxed body” is a quote from Edmund Jacobson who taught the principles of deep relaxation in the 1930’s. If you can calm your body’s stress, your mind will calm down. If your mind can calm down, you will be able to communicate better and make better decisions. Physical exercise, on a regular basis, can help with decision making and anxiety control.

Fourth, control your environment and your expectations. Again this is easier said than done, but a calm environment will reduce external distractions. Internal pressure from unrealistic expectations can also interfere with good problem solving.

Fifth, avoid stimulants, like caffeine, if you are sensitive to over stimulation/anxiety that certain foods or products can create in your mind and body. Pain killers and depressants can also reduce cerebral activities and reduce problem solving. There are other dietary considerations that can affect individuals in unique ways. So understand how this can be afactor in your life.

Bottom-line: For most people, stress increases the chance for poor decision making and problem solving. Learn how stress affects you and prevent making poor choices by taking care of yourself in positive ways. Visit the Stress Education Center’s website for stress management articles and other articles in this blog. Visit www.dstress.com for information or professional coaching.

Lessons of a Life Worth Your Consideration

L. John Mason — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 16:55:21 +0000

Barbara, my wife, asked the following questions in December, 2008 in an article that is posted on this blog, The Elephant in the Room: Living with Cancer. She passed on January 16th, 2012 not knowing the answers.

Will I be missed; have I made a difference being here; what more can I be doing with my life while I’m still here?

These questions are not unique to Barbara. Most people who have some level of self-awareness will ask similiar questions at some point in life. My wife’s cancer caused her to leave this life earlier than we wanted and sooner than she deserved. Which should make the point that we must live with vigilance because our lives may not as long as necessary to accomplish our goals…

In retrospect I will say that Barbara WILL BE MISSED. She has made a difference as a mother, a nurse, a parenting educator, a cancer survivor for 8+ years, and as a role model of a strong, independent woman.

Her last question has no easy answer but has value for all who read this blog/article. WHAT MORE CAN I BE DOING WITH MY LIFE WHILE I’M STILL HERE? My understanding of this question suggests that she wanted to live each day in service and with the excitement and challenges exploring each day. She did not want to sit back and allow life to happen. She wanted to be active. She wanted to celebrate each day’s beauty and bear witness to growth that can not be stopped. I believe that we can all take stock in our lives and continue to challenge ourselves with dreams and aspirations of living each day with the highest level accomplishment that is possible.

By asking this question and moving through life with vigilance, you may find yourself in better position to have fewer regrets when your time for learning this life’s lessons run out. Live and love fully!

Remembering & Celebrating a Life

L. John Mason — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 22:45:27 +0000

My family and friends are preparing to meet in Sonoma County, CA to participate in the celebration of the life of my wife, Barbara Ehlers-Mason. Each person who has known my bride knows her and remembers her differently. We know her as a friend, a sister, a mother, a teacher, a dancer, a nurse, woman, a wife, a daughter, an aunt, and a loving human being. How do you gracefully and effectively condense memories from 65+ years of living into a form that can do justice to a life well lived? This struggle would not be unique to celebrating Barbara’s life. It is true for most people who have lived with purpose and goals. I reflect on my memories over the past 34 years of my life with all the many overlaps with the life of my friend and lover. Barbara was the living matriarch of her family in many ways. She was devoted to her sons and her siblings and her parents. She was devoted to her work as a nurse and as a co-worker. She was devoted to sharing information on parenting and healthcare. She was devoted to trying to keep the planet healthy and to assisting in whatever way possible people in need. She was devoted to me as a friend, a partner, and as a fellow traveler for over 28 years. She was fiercely independent and never wanted to be labeled as anything but as a strong and healthy person. Barbara was fighter who battled with grace and focus against the cancer that came to live within her. People would learn of her strength and fortitude if they ever heard the story of her fight…

These are just some of the parts that make up the history of a person’s life. They do not do justice to the “whole of the person” who was Barbara and do not come close to expressing the emotions that I and others feel when we consider the celebration of her life. But, how can anyone be remembered for who they are and what they accomplished? You can look at the products of their life and not really understand their service. You can look at the relationships one has had but not really know the influence she has had on the lives of the people they have touched. You can look at the photographs and not know the deepest parts of the woman who was pictured. And, you can embrace the feeling of profound, unconditional love and not fully know what her heart radiated to the people she touched and the void that her passing leaves for those of us who are left behind.

Life goes on with the joys and the struggles. The lessons of our lives are presented and hopefully learned. Heaven has a bright shining light as it embraces our Barbara. We all bask in the memories from our shared history and in the certainty that she left a legacy of love.

Perhaps on March 24th, 2012 at 3:00 PM (PDT), you will pause for a moment and consider a fitting way to honor and celebrate a life filled with love and service. Bask in the memory and consider your path through your lessons of this life. Allow grace and fortitude to accompany you on your path as a quiet memory of Barbara’s strong will. AND, remember to tell those close to you that you love them…

“Finding Your Tone” - A Path to Empowerment

L. John Mason — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 23:16:18 +0000

Have you ever felt so strongly about an experience or a process of self-discovery that you know that you will never be same and the new knowledge feels like you are on a path toward “enlightenment?” You can feel it in your “gut” when the insight is “right.” In a similiar way, have you ever “connected” with another person or a group so strongly that you can feel the power of acceptance and support which allows you to find deeper insights? If you “resonate” with an experience so you can evoke “deep” memories and emotions, you bask in a feeling of celebration of that moment of awakening. If significant enough, it becomes a new memory that you will never forget. As an example, in my early twenties I had several powerful meditation insights that I can recall as if they had just happened. One was a visualization that came to me in meditation that I was sitting with my back to a tree on the bank of the “river of life.” In my visualization, it flowed from my right to left in its slow progression through life. The waters were golden in color made up of individual golden molecules of water that each represented a separate lifeform. I visualized myself as single molecule of water drifting with the current. As the river moved down from the mountains it pushed toward the golden ocean where the molecules could evaporate and the life reborn to start again as the rain that falls high in the mountains and begins the voyage back down the river of life. The most important insight for me has been that I am connected with all other living things as we flow down the river of life. Connected and not alone. This experience and insight is felt deep to my core. I can feel the connection with all other living things. Perhaps you have experienced a similiar feeling of connection and the empowerment that this allows.

You may resonate with this insight. You may feel the deep vibration that offers a feeling of connection with others in a similiar way. I challenge you to find the trigger for an experience that allows you to feel “your tone” as a way of remembering the insights and connections that you have experienced through the process of your path toward enlightenment. You may want to do your work alone in meditation or in a supportive group process or with a mentor or coach. No matter how you move toward self-discovery, you will benefit from sharing these insights with supportive people. The process of “sharing” adds perspective and deeper insights which can enhance the learning. I have had the experience of nearly ignoring the importance of a new insight until I shared the discovery with a supportive group and this sharing created an excitement from other members of group which caused me to feel the larger significance of the insight I had taken too lightly. That insight was about unconditional love and higher consciousness, and I celebrate the experience these 40 years later.

I believe that from past personal and professional experiences I have created a process worth experiencing. At some point, you may want to come along on a residential retreat process that can offer a way toward greater insight, self-discovery, and offers tools for increasing your consciousness. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone” because at the end of this experiencial process you take an instrument with you that reflects the specific sound (or vibration) that will allow you to resonate with the deepest discoveries that you achieve during this retreat experience. You will leave with a chime that connects you with insights that you experience. If you wish to learn more about this process or desire participation in this process, please contact the Stress Education Center at wellness@dstress.com and ask to be placed on the list to receive the schedule of these 7 day residential retreats. If you can not wait for the group process, individual coaching is available. These professional services do have a charge due to the costs of materials & services as well as the time that is necessary to tailor this program to your specific requirements.

Please send comments and any insights that you have discovered in your quest for spiritual or emotional development.

Coping with Grief and Loss - a Process

L. John Mason — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 14:57:47 +0000

We all suffer from loss in our lives. Sometimes the loss relates to transitions through life that are normal and expected states of growth and development such as moving from childhood, through the teenage years, and then into the adult responsibilities that confront most people. Though this is a difficult transition, we must all face this if we live past our 18^th birthday. There are more serious or traumatic losses that many of us encounter such as the death of close family member or friend, the loss of health due to accident or illness, the loss of an important relationship, or possibly the loss experienced with a career change or loss of a job. These are difficult times and hard lessons to experience in the course of life. These losses, though potentially painful, can be times of learning and personal growth. Many of these transitions can be less distracting and with a greater potential for learning if you have a positive support network. Here is the dilemma. Most people do not have a network of healthy, positive supporters to allow for movement through difficult transitions with grace and healing perspectives.

We can learn from our painful transitions and losses. We can wade through these changes more gracefully, and possibly with less discomfort, if we have the best team of support surrounding us. Some people look for professional counselors or coaches, or perhaps clergy to help with difficult transitions. Some of us have personal mentors who can be trusted and who have the necessary communication skills to assist in times of need. Some of us have healthy relationships, friends or family who can help without too much of their own “baggage.” Many people do not have enough access to the positive supporters who can help us through the grief that life throws at us.

There are many books and potential sources of information which help us to understand the process of dealing with loss and grief but for most people reading about the grief process is not enough. We need to be supported by a personalized experience that we can gather around us as we muddle our way through our emotional and spiritual pains of loss. We need to be “touched” by the proper support in many ways. We need to be allowed our grief and yet “called on it” when we have gone past the limit and start the “wallowing process.” We need to find the exact, personalized process to assist in managing the stress, anxiety, pain, confusion, and the “emptiness” of replacing the part of ourselves which has been lost with the more experienced and empowered person who has survived a major change/loss/growth…

Each of us need to find the best way to learn our lesson and then to move on into our new, restructured life. We need to learn the best way to take care of ourselves, benefit from the lessons, and then discover the most appropriate directions to move our new life. To do this, we need to find people we can trust and invest the resources into the process of self-care and self-development so we can move down the path that leads to our goals. This is easier said than done, but if you realize that you would survive this transition more easily and possibly more quickly with positive assistance then you must do the work and find the correct support you require.

In the future, we will be expanding and releasing information regarding a new program which can assist most people in developing an individualized transition plan. We are beginning to build a process for creating a positive support network which will enable participants to discover their strengths, accept their weakness or flaws, and to free up energy to invest for moving toward positive goals and enhanced lifestyles. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone.”

Please comment or send questions to the Stress Education Center at wellness@dstress.com or visit the website at www.dstress.com.